Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
