i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
