It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Be still, my beating vagina.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
