Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize