No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
