Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
