...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize