dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
