So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
