Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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