I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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