I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
