yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
and she was petting her beer can
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
