Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
