Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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