i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize