We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
