I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
