the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
