I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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