hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
