We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
