I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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