I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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