oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
