thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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