i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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