All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
