And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
