Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
