Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
