have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
