When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
