Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
