that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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