She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
