Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
how does that bad decision feel?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
