I puked a lego.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
