The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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