i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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