Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
okay pat passed out under dana's car
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
one might say we're banned from that church
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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