How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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