think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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