i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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