You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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