There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
