ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
