marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
