Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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