My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
