Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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