And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
