she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
