Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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