Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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