Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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