..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
