And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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