she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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