i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize