Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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