there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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